I feel odd for sharing this, but I hope my story helps and probably find people like me who would resonate with me.
It was a very bad day when my dad got involved in a fatal accident. It was so serious that he spent years in the hospital. During his stay in the hospital, my mum took us (my sister and I) to her mother’s place. My grandma’s place was the only place we could go, because my mum was busy running errands to save my dad’s life.
My grandmother lived with one of my aunts (my mum’s sibling), we all lived together like one big family. Although they tried their bests to make us feel at home but my nature rarely blend with anybody else aside my immediate family. Grandmother was a retired principal of a public school while my aunt was with her due to some strike her institution embarked on.
My grandma pleaded with my aunt to help me get along with others, she didn’t believe my introvertedness story, she thought I was still troubled by my dad’s accident. Out of love, my aunt started giving special attentions which I blindly welcomed.
I was well sex educated at home, so when my aunt started taking the attention that was meant to be agape to erotica level, I was smart enough to decode it. Yes, i’m an introvert, all I could do was to write in a sheet of paper and place somewhere where Grandma would see it, it took so long before granny saw one of my papers and when she did, she refused to decode the message I was trying to pass across, instead, she appreciated the beauty of my English, saying I’d be a good writer. She gave my aunt the paper, and she played along with her. The next day, my aunt threatened to harm my sister if I try to report her again. I wasn’t really scared of her threats to harm me, but I can’t stand seeing my sister being harmed, so I succumbed.
Whenever this aunt of mine wants to get dressed, she’d call me to help her hook or unhook her bra and also make me apply body cream on her back. I started feeling strange within myself anytime she’s around, so I developed a plan by faking sickness. I was admitted to a hospital and she was the one granny ordered to look after my wellbeing in the hospital. I tried to speak with the doctor but I remembered the safety of my sister. In no time, I was pronounced fit to be discharged and before I knew it, I was back at home.
The next day was a Friday, granny would force us to church for vigil. My aunt, sensing I might be cooking up another plan faked malaria. She told granny to go with my sister and leave me behind to look over her for the night. At the moment granny agreed, I felt the world was against me.
Long after granny left for church with my sister, my aunt called out to me from her room, I had no choice but to go. She said she’s cold that she needs to get warm, she told me to wrap a duvet around her. I was doing that when she pulled me closer to herself and cuddled me. I struggled with her but she threatened me again, so I had to give in. She instructed me to touch her in places my mum had always instructed me never to touch a lady. I carried out her task numbly. Less than an hour later, she stood up naked, went out of the room, only to return with two cups of tea, she gave me one while she took the other. It was after I felt some penetration that I realized I had been drugged. She raped me till I almost passed out. She did it repeatedly and later, she no longer drugged me again because I was the one now requesting for it.
Although I was just a 10 year old boy that had little understanding of what sex and it’s pleasure means, but then, I just wanted to be around her, playing with her body. Grandma noticed my sudden addiction towards my aunt and all she did was give thanks to God for breaking the introverted-ness in me.
I felt sad and bitter when my dad got discharged from the hospital. I couldn’t express the cause of my sadness to them.
Back home, I get aroused sexually easily and all I could think of doing was to watch porn and masturbate. I jerk off at least four times daily.
By the time I was 15, masturbation had stopped satisfying my sexual urge. As a matter of fact, I’ll be 20 this year and the number of lady I have had sex with is far above 20. I can’t spend a whole day together with a lady without making sexual advances to her, but if she resists, I’ll caution myself. But if the urge isn’t resistible for me, I’ll force my way into her. I don’t want to call it rape, because I don’t feel it is.
I really don’t blame anyone for this predicament of mine, I feel that was how life showed me it’s cruelty. It isn’t about me (my intentions), nor the dressing of any lady, it’s just the insatiable beast my aunt unleashed in me. By the way, I don’t think I can settle down with anyone that isn’t sexually driven like myself because I’d rather have sex with her all day rather than have her cook for me.
I have been trying so hard to overcome my incessant sexual urge. I need divine intervention. I want the world to know my story. Boys are also being sexually abused daily and most times by relatives.